Survive the tutorial!

Destroy the space station!

Kick the Comrade's ass!

Have mercy. Let the Comrade live.

No peace! Kill the Comrade!

Load the crafting menu.

Defeat the Worm's heart.

Defeat Kang's weird faceship.

Destroy bizarro Gamma Ray.

Survive the asteroid belt.

Destroy the Battle Dome without taking damage.

Kill Kang :(

Kill the Comrade!

I understand and I wish to continue.

Okay. Fine!

I am weak.

Hatred For None.

Into the sun. Well done.

Beat Heaven.

Complete level 666.

Destroy the Cock Sauce Factory

Complete 9-1.

Get a million points on 1-1.

Punch a Toilet.

Beat a Level without taking damage.

Rip both arms off a mech.

Skip Credits.

Get an S Rank on level 7-1 or 10-1.

Complete a level with the middle finger censored.

“The game just called me a F$#!stick!”