You have joined the KKK

You completed your first day in South Park

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew

You opened all of the garages in South Park

You completed the game without selling any items

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff

You farted on four major authority figures

You shat your pants during a boss battle

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself

You've farted on a dog while in gnome form

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle

You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise

You've farted on every buddy in the game

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out

You collected 5 Chinpokomon

You collected 15 Chinpokomon

You collected all of the Chinpokomon

You befriended your father

You made friends with half of South Park

Everyone in South Park is your friend

You sold 300 junk items

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass

You've farted on people 100 times.

You've farted on animals 25 times

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants

You have collected half of the available costume sets

You've collected all of the available costumes

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus

You befriended both crab people and gnomes

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability

You've spent $500

You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game